Knee-Deep in the Hoop-blog 2/19/08

I missed a handful of pretty decent college hoops games last night due to my dire medical situation. I was in bed at 8:30 p.m. But, medical experts have upgraded my condition from 'advanced rigor mortis' to simply 'dead', so I am trying to slowly move back toward the land of the living. I saw that Louisville won again, their 6th straight, and I'm going to assume the feat was accomplished without Rick Pitino wearing another white suit a la Colonel Sanders. He wore one in the first half of the Louisville/Georgetown game, but mysteriously came out the second half wearing his usual dark suit. The official line was that he 'spilled a Coke on it'. Right. I like to picture Mrs. Pitino on the cellie telling him to 'take that ridiculous thing off. You look like Boss Hogg's sleazy cousin from Jersey. Those laughs you hear? They are not laughing with you. Trust.'

There's not too many interesting games tonight, but Wednesday night will be huge, especially for the SEC West. My beloved Mississippi State Bulldogs will be on the road at the Devil's Playground, or Oxford, playing Ole Miss. Ole Miss has been struggling lately, but never count out a rivalry game. Ever. Just as importantly, LSU is at Arkansas, who is two games behind Miss. State in the standings. LSU has been surging lately after firing their coach, and the interim coach is a former Bulldog, Butch Pierre. How 'bout a little Bulldog love, my friend? An LSU win in Fayettenam would be a major boost for the Dawgs, as would another road win in Oxford.

I think I will hibernate one more night, then let the hoops begin!

If I Die, Who Will Find the Body?

I feel like crap today. Absolute caca. I hate being sick. My assistant is sick as well, so guess who gets to work? Yep, me. Being the boss IS boss most of the time, but when you are sick, it's like being sick when you're a mom...tough s*it, sister. Suck it up and work it out.

I'm ready for bed.

Will Windex Get That Out?

I saw 'There Will Be Blood' yesterday, finally. My conclusion? Daniel Day-Lewis was astounding...he deserves every award he has won and will win. He was pitch-perfect. I loved many of the parts, but I am still mulling over how I feel about the sum of those parts. One thing I am sure of, though, is that I love that bowling alley in his house at the end of the movie! *Spoiler Alert* It was so boss- I'd love to have one. Minus, of course, the dead evangelist oozing blood and brain matter all over the hardwood. Don't you know THAT can wreck a finish.

The trailers were quite intriguing. A few thoughts:

1. Is Keira Knightly some kind of celluloid vampire? I mean really. Does she not appear on film unless it is set prior to the Second World War and she is clad in costumes and reciting pithy dialogue? I know there was 'Domino', but since no one actually saw it I consider that film an urban legend. Good news for me, though. I don't do period pieces, and she annoys the crap out of me. So, win-win.

2. If 'In Bruges' is 75% as funny as it looks, I'll be happy. Which, of course, means it will be 25% as funny as it looks and I'll be 100% ill that I spent $11 and 2 hours on a hot mess of a movie.

3. I don't know if I can put into words how much I love Daniel Craig. I don't even remember the name of the movie he has coming out, but who cares. Not only did he single-handedly resurrect the James Bond franchise, he is a major fox. When he says, 'Bond, James Bond' at the end of 'Casino Royale', I get chills all over my body. Excuse me while I go watch 'Layer Cake' again.

Whatchoo Talkin' Bout, Shannon?

So the plot thickens in relation to the recently wed Gary Coleman and wife Shannon Price. Evidently, the relationship remains chaste, and Gary, sadly, is still the real-life 40-Year-Old Virgin. Also, their relationship is not without its drama...mainly Gary hurling projectiles at Shannon in fits of anger, which she reportedly takes exception to. Here's a thought, Shan...give him a little lovin' and he might RELAX and not throw computer equipment at your head! You didn't take my advice (see previous blog), married him, now you need to come through for the little man. I'm guessing he hasn't had any action since Gordon Jump had Arnold and Dudley take off their shirts and jump on the bed.

Valentine's Day Massacre

What is being massacred, you ask? Only my pride. I know I shouldn't hate on a day that is supposed to celebrate love. But what started out as a simple mercenary conspiracy amongst florists, candymakers and greeting card companies to make a little extra change has turned ugly in the hands of the women in this country. Now, it has two purposes: to make the male population feel terrible, and for women to one-up all their friends and co-workers. And, a fun side benefit is to lord it over all the single women out there. Last year, I was running an errand and some clerk who I didn't even know asked, 'what did you get for Valentine's?'. Me: 'Um, nothing. I'm single.' Her: 'Really? Too bad. You should really have gotten a date'. Bitch.

Seriously, what is this insane need to make other women feel insignificant and worthless? It is bad enough that I have spent the last 2 days ordering flowers for my mother, buying candy for one kid's class party plus gifts for his teachers, stuff for my kids, and making sure the oldest has proper arrangements to take his girlfriend to dinner. All so I can sit home alone. And, on top of things, NOT a good week for me, lovelife-wise. At all. Do you really have to twist the knife? Isn't this supposed to be a sweet gesture between you and your beloved, not a trophy proving you are better than me?

Anyway, Happy Valentine's to everyone in the spirit of retail. I'll choose to be happy to receive the 'gift of giving'. And, be careful out there...you don't know who you might bruise with your gloating.

Different Strokes Indeed

So, Gary Coleman finally got hitched! Coleman, 40, (years, not inches) married Shannon Price, 22, on a mountaintop after knowing her a grand total of 5 months. Evidently, the 18 year (and, presumably 18 inch) difference doesn't matter to either of the lovebirds. I guess I should have shown young Shannon my move. When a short guy hits on me, I simply raise my arm to my height like those nifty little signs at the amusement park and solemnly state, 'You must be this tall to ride this ride.'

Works every time, my friend.

What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been

Wow. From prison to pups. No, not Michael Vick, that would be backwards. Patty Hearst, best known for being spending time in prison for robbing a bank with the terrorist group The Symbionese Liberation Army (who are these Symbions and why do they need liberating?) has won an award with her French Bulldog at the Westminster Dog Show. Never saw this one coming. The award is named The Best of Opposite Sex...definitely NOT an award she'd have won in the joint.

I'm convinced John Waters is behind this...it has to be a movie.