Thursday, June 12, 2008

If At First You Don't Succeed, Tri, Tri Again

So far, so good with the repeat guy...I'll call him Tri Guy. He's training for a triathalon and, well, the rest is self-explanatory. Still cute and funny. I'm trying to discern whether he has all the intangibles, but I'm enjoying the emails so far. He even sent me one this morning to tell me to have a good day- love that! That's something I always did for my guys, so I think, for once, I'm going to sit back a little and enjoy being wooed. Long distance, of course, but what the hey. I still can't figure out what it is about me that attracts triathletes. I need to add that to the list of questions to ask my friends to figure out what is wrong with me since it never works out.

Now, there is the issue of a SMOKIN' hot, world champion, Italian kite-boarder living in Miami who has emailed me twice. Twice!!! Only problem is, without a subscription, I can't read what he said, or email him back. I'm thinking it might be worth the $15! Holy moly, he's hot.

And, of course, Bachelor #2. What would a good start to a romance be without him popping up? I'll start calling him The Counselor. Of course, I'll forgive him since he said Stephanie Seymour reminded him of me except I have a better ass. Damn right, and I also have the upper hand since I never slept with Axl Rose. Heh. The poor boy loves me and just won't admit it three years into this nonsense. Oh, well, c'est la vie! Onward and upward! I hope?

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A Horse is a Horse, Of Course, Of Course

I, along with millions of other sports fans, was seated in front of a television on Saturday to watch the Belmont Stakes. Unlike most other folks, though, I certainly didn't think the outcome was a mere finality. Big Brown's trainer, Rick Dutrow, Jr., had simply mouthed off too much. Where I come from, we call it 'your mouth writing a check your ass can't cash'. Simply put, everyone, human animal or other animal, has a bad day. How many times have you seen a pitcher come off a 3 hitter and get shelled in the first inning on his next outing? Receivers win a game one week and have butter fingers the next? Cyclists simply blow up and drop out after winning a stage in the Tour de France? Me, have a fantastic workout one day, feeling like I could climb Mt. Everest (or at least leave all the chicks in the Friday 'Housewife Circuit' Class panting in the dust), to wanting to curl up in a non-exercise ball and die the next morning?

People have bad days. Dogs have bad days. Horses have bad days. Anyone with eyes and half a brain could see Big Brown started badly and never hit his stride. He fought the jockey, danced all over the track and simply didn't want, or need, to run. And Kent Desormeaux, the jockey, knew the race was over and pulled the horse up so there was no danger of injury. While I do think running those horses in that kind of heat is a dubious practice at best, I think even PETA would have to agree there was no doubt that Desormeaux had Big Brown's best interests at heart. The trainer? Maybe not so much. I think there was a little matter of the debt his mouth had incurred. While Dutrow has backed off his statement that the loss was the jockey's fault, he might want to keep his mouth shut until Big Brown's next race on August 23rd. It might cost more than he bargained for.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

My Heroes Have Always Been Kobes

3 words...Kobe Damn Bryant. An absolutely transcendent player, he was brilliant in every way tonight but making free throws (except when it really counted, of course). Ran the offense, kept the team up and focused, played hard defense, drove the basket, got the fouls, and was even humble in the post-game. But not too humble. He's Kobe Damn Bryant.

Fun Playoff-related fact: 2 summers ago my youngest son and I played the bumper cars with Kevin Garnett and his kids at Santa Monica Pier. Super nice guy, with a gorgeous wife and a beautiful, polite family. And hysterically funny looking in a bumper car.

Ex Marks the Spot...and It Is Permanently Stained

Okay, now I've read everything. I just read an article on how divorced people found love through their exes in different ways. And, yes, a couple of these people were actually introduced their new loves by their exes. Wha??? After over 7 years of being divorced, I just want MY ex not to call at 7:30 a.m. on Saturday or Sunday morning when he KNOWS someone has slept over. This is courtesy of snooping by my wife-in-law (his wife) as she drives by my house on the way to play tennis. Geez. They get dates, I get cock-blocked. I'm not asking to be Bruce and Demi, Lord knows. I don't even like the guy, much less want to hang out with him. Even though I can definitely picture him being Bruce-like; not in a cool, 'Die Hard' way, but in a Seagrams Wine Cooler/bad blues singing kind of way. I just want him to get a hobby other than trying to make me miserable. Please.

Can You Say Shrinkage?

Okay, here's a perfect example of why I'm no good at online dating. The site I had the most luck with (and that is dubious at best) was a site that matched people interested in fitness. Mainly because the guys on the previous site I had tried didn't quite understand what an athletic body type is. That doesn NOT mean your dominant hand is all buff from all the channel surfing.

Anyhoo, when I did my quick look through a few days ago, I guess I showed up as active again and have been getting some emails, which I can't even read because I haven't subscribed. I can see the pictures, though, if they have one posted. Other than the one I mentioned that I am cautiously excited about (and who still has my personal email), the rest range in ridiculous to downright hilarious. more body building pictures! I swear I'm going to put that in my profile. I just got one from a guy whose username is HugeDavid. And, judging by his Hulk Hogan getup (now with more stupid skull caps to hide your baldness!), I'm guessing the 'roid use means not the good kind of huge, if you smell what I'm steppin' in. He looks straight-up WWE. I am howling...not to sound snotty, but what in the name of sweet, sweet Moses makes him think I would remotely be interested? I'm not interested in any pile driver from him, my friend.

A Dying Breed

I hope the rumors that Paul Newman is facing terminal cancer aren't true. While at 83 he has led a long, happy, exemplary life, we as a nation, and particularly a culture, are going to be much less for his passing. While he isn't perfect, as no humans are, he has always displayed a strength, class and dignity sorely missing among the Hollywood stars of the last couple of decades. He has managed to enjoy a long, happy marriage with Joanne Woodward without sex tapes or jumping on couches. He has pursued his hobby of racing cars without turning it into a paparazzi sideshow and photo op. He has quietly donated millions and millions of dollars to charities through his Newman's Own line of natural and organic foods without feeling the need to call a press conference or calling attention to himself in any way. He has simply always, for the most part, chosen to do the right thing. He is such a class act. I was incredibly saddened by the death of Sydney Pollack recently for the same reasons. He was successful, funny, brilliant and a genuinely good guy who made significant contributions to our culture in a quietly dignified way. Our lives were truly enriched by these gentlemen, and our culture will lose much as we lose them.

What Goes Around Comes Around

I received an email from a guy I corresponded with a couple of years back yesterday. He used to be quite hot- tall, funny, athletic, successful...all the right things. He kind of disappeared, but saw my pic online and got back in touch. I haven't made my subscription active, but I guess sinced I logged on the other day it made me visible again. Who knows? He's had plenty of time to get unhot in the meantime, but at least it is something. We'll see- I'm pretty skeptical, but everything does happen for a reason, so I'll go with it for a while. I'm definitely taking the nothing ventured, nothing gained, nothing to lose route with this one. And praying he's still hot:) Yes, I'm somewhat superficial. Who isn't?

Blue's Clues

The comedy gods have come through for me...nothing has put a grin on my face quite like the report that Roger Clemens kept Viagra in his locker at Yankee Stadium. Heh. I guess The Rocket needed a little extra fuel to keep up with the teenage country singers? While I certainly think it did have to do, as people have claimed, with 'endurance', I think it was post-game, not on the mound. At least not mound in the singular sense. Ha.

I don't know why I'm surprised. And the real winners? The makers of Viagra. Any publicity is good publicity, right? Unless you are the Rocket, of course. The only way it could get worse for him is to head even further into R. Kelley territory. He had better start having any incriminating moles removed post haste. And hire a damn good divorce attorney...this could get real ugly, real quick. Now where's my handy, dandy notebook?

Monday, June 9, 2008

No More Yanky My Wanky...the Donger Need Food!

I feel like Long Duck Dong from 'Sixteen Candles', only with 100% less sex. I'm exhausted. One of my favorite cousins got married over the weekend, and the last week or so, most days have been spent celebrating or recovering in some fashion. So, she's married, it was a fantastic wedding and an even better party, and I need to take a break! While I appreciate all the compliments I've received on how young and hot I look, a few days of partying remind me I'm not so young anymore. I couldn't even make it through the hoops last night, I was out like a light.

News from the dating front...none still. But, I'm doing well in not contacting Bachelors #1-3 at all, and not responding to them. I'm feeling better about myself, so hopefully it will start spilling over. I took my 15 year old son as my date to the wedding party and had a great time, he was definitely the most handsome man there. And didn't have to worry about him calling back! And I'm still nixing the online thing as of right now. I think I need to just take my chances in the real world, I just need to get out of the LBC. I'll get back on the road for work next week and maybe something good will happen, no matter what it is.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The Real World

My current dating drought (almost 6 months, in case you missed my ALL-CAPS tirade a couple of posts ago) has made me consider trying online dating again. Or, as I have taken to calling it, long-line dating. As in there has been a long line of disappointments and a few broken hearts. But, in a quick perusal of the two sites I have used in the past, mainly I just see a long line of I Don't Think So. I think I'll take my chances in the real world instead of the virtual world. While the opportunities are fewer, at least I can get a real feel for the guy up front, rather than a virtual one. Because you know what? Online first impressions (and even second impressions) are virtually always wrong impressions.

Plus, I think right now it would be better for my psyche to be rejected for real issues than virtual ones. You know?

I've Got Your Iron Man

Mission accomplished with the lingerie shopping last night. I do always feel better when I buy something pretty, even if it is only underwear and no one is going to see it *sigh*. Go figure, huh? I also bought some books, a replacement for my dead 'happiness bamboo' (I'm guessing that was killing my feng shui) and went to a movie. I had a little time, so I stopped in the only restaurant with a bar in 'The Mall' here in the LBC- the Little Bitty City- the always happening Ruby Tuesday. Really, who can place a name on you? Ugh. Luckily for me (please re-read those words and make sure they are dripping with sarcasm), a group of gals around my age who have teenagers as well were there getting there drink on and heading to the movie. Sex and the City, I figure. Now, I'm not hating on SATC...went with some of my gals and loved, loved, loved it. Of course, we did it right. We went to brunch, got liquored up and looked HOT. Actually, it has helped me get out of my funk. Anyhoo, I walk in, dressed pretty cute (seriously, not too hard to look cuter than the soccer moms that were there), with my Victoria's Secret bag o'goodies. I sat at the bar and ordered a glass of wine. They were drinking and, I'm serious, this is the most giggly, obnoxious group of Fortysomethings you can imagine. Loud. And they were giving me the side-eye, now. Naturally, I assume that I am quite the topic of conversation here in the LBC today. I was a little uncomfortable at first, but came to realize that so what? I'm single, I wasn't trying to pick anyone up, and it's not my fault they all quit making efforts to look good or have anything interesting to say a long time ago. So there. They didn't spoil my good mood.

Now, on to Iron Man. All I can say is the movie rocked, the pad in Malibu was totally boss, and Robert Downey, Jr. was majorly foxy in this flick. I walked in an admirer and walked out in lust. Damn, where's my Iron Man? Go forth and see this film if you haven't.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Six F'n Months

I was just reading the blog of one of my favorite radio personalities. She is currently casually dating one guy, and evidently still dating around. In today's installment, she is asking what the rule of thumb is when a guy asks you for your number. Does he call in 48 hours? 24? 72? HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW???? I HAVEN'T HAD A DATE, OR ANY INTEREST IN ME, IN 6 FREAKING MONTHS!!!!

I can't believe I just typed those words, but they are true. I'm sure part of it has been the hermit-like existence I've been living, but still. So, this week (actually starting last weekend), I'm trying to get back to the old me- just an improved version. I'm making sure to dress cute everyday, I'm going to start seeing movies again and, best of all, hitting Victoria's Secret this evening. New lingerie is bound to make me feel better. Feeling a little naughty is always a good catalyst. Hopefully putting something different out there will change my karma! Here's to hot shoes and hot lingerie, and hopefully a hot man:)

It's Been Good Getting to Know Me More

After a loooong hiatus of soul searching, being vaguely depressed and, in general, not being myself, I'm attempting to pull myself up by my boot straps and get back to being myself. In all this time, I haven't written a word. Blog, short stories, essays, nothing...and I have missed it and missed the outlet it gives me. So, I'm back!