A Horse is a Horse, Of Course, Of Course

I, along with millions of other sports fans, was seated in front of a television on Saturday to watch the Belmont Stakes. Unlike most other folks, though, I certainly didn't think the outcome was a mere finality. Big Brown's trainer, Rick Dutrow, Jr., had simply mouthed off too much. Where I come from, we call it 'your mouth writing a check your ass can't cash'. Simply put, everyone, human animal or other animal, has a bad day. How many times have you seen a pitcher come off a 3 hitter and get shelled in the first inning on his next outing? Receivers win a game one week and have butter fingers the next? Cyclists simply blow up and drop out after winning a stage in the Tour de France? Me, have a fantastic workout one day, feeling like I could climb Mt. Everest (or at least leave all the chicks in the Friday 'Housewife Circuit' Class panting in the dust), to wanting to curl up in a non-exercise ball and die the next morning?

People have bad days. Dogs have bad days. Horses have bad days. Anyone with eyes and half a brain could see Big Brown started badly and never hit his stride. He fought the jockey, danced all over the track and simply didn't want, or need, to run. And Kent Desormeaux, the jockey, knew the race was over and pulled the horse up so there was no danger of injury. While I do think running those horses in that kind of heat is a dubious practice at best, I think even PETA would have to agree there was no doubt that Desormeaux had Big Brown's best interests at heart. The trainer? Maybe not so much. I think there was a little matter of the debt his mouth had incurred. While Dutrow has backed off his statement that the loss was the jockey's fault, he might want to keep his mouth shut until Big Brown's next race on August 23rd. It might cost more than he bargained for.

My Heroes Have Always Been Kobes

3 words...Kobe Damn Bryant. An absolutely transcendent player, he was brilliant in every way tonight but making free throws (except when it really counted, of course). Ran the offense, kept the team up and focused, played hard defense, drove the basket, got the fouls, and was even humble in the post-game. But not too humble. He's Kobe Damn Bryant.

Fun Playoff-related fact: 2 summers ago my youngest son and I played the bumper cars with Kevin Garnett and his kids at Santa Monica Pier. Super nice guy, with a gorgeous wife and a beautiful, polite family. And hysterically funny looking in a bumper car.

Blue's Clues

The comedy gods have come through for me...nothing has put a grin on my face quite like the report that Roger Clemens kept Viagra in his locker at Yankee Stadium. Heh. I guess The Rocket needed a little extra fuel to keep up with the teenage country singers? While I certainly think it did have to do, as people have claimed, with 'endurance', I think it was post-game, not on the mound. At least not mound in the singular sense. Ha.

I don't know why I'm surprised. And the real winners? The makers of Viagra. Any publicity is good publicity, right? Unless you are the Rocket, of course. The only way it could get worse for him is to head even further into R. Kelley territory. He had better start having any incriminating moles removed post haste. And hire a damn good divorce attorney...this could get real ugly, real quick. Now where's my handy, dandy notebook?

Knee-Deep in the Hoop-blog 2/27/08

I haven't watched quite as much hoops in the last couple of weeks as I usually do, but I do have a couple of observations:

1. Memphis was so ripe to be taken down. I took my boys to Memphis on the Saturday of the big Memphis/Tennessee game. We saw a movie (U2 in 3D- totally boss, check it out), ate lots of good food and watched some hoops; not Memphis, I absolutely would have sold those tickets. We also went for the pre-game atmosphere; being a total sports geek, I love the buildup as much as the event. The city was crazy...blue everywhere, good-natured (at least early) jabs between the 2 sets of fans, and more than one (in retrospect) unfortunate tribute to the Tigers shaved in goofy white boys' heads. This is the same city that lets out a collective yawn over their NBA team, the Grizzlies. I had no doubt they would lose, it was sadly inevitable.

2. It was during this game that Bruce Pearl officially became one of the most annoying characters in all of sports to me. His interview going into halftime with Erin Andrews was more of an ESPN audition tape (now, with more groping!). He is so self-important and full of himself...he loves to hear himself talk. Digger Phelps- watch out, he's after your job. He's already got the questionable fashion sense down pat.

3. We watched my beloved Mississippi State Bulldogs actually pull out a road win over South Carolina in overtime. They are more than talented enough to beat South Carolina (who is mediocre at best), but this was exactly the kind of game they generally tank. Arkansas had lost earlier, State had the chance to extend their lead in the SEC West and guarantee a first-round bye in the SEC Tournament. I had no doubt they would blow it. But, oh-me-of-little-faith, Ben Hansborough (Tyler's little bro) was fouled on a last second 3 pointer that would tie the game. He then sunk all 3 free throws to send the game to OT, and the Dawgs never looked back. I'm still stunned.

4. Second least surprising outcome of a game in the last week- Newly minted #1 Tennessee gets taken out by Vanderbilt. Nothing to say except that it couldn't happen to a nicer guy in a hideous orange jacket.

Knee-Deep in the Hoop-blog 2/19/08

I missed a handful of pretty decent college hoops games last night due to my dire medical situation. I was in bed at 8:30 p.m. But, medical experts have upgraded my condition from 'advanced rigor mortis' to simply 'dead', so I am trying to slowly move back toward the land of the living. I saw that Louisville won again, their 6th straight, and I'm going to assume the feat was accomplished without Rick Pitino wearing another white suit a la Colonel Sanders. He wore one in the first half of the Louisville/Georgetown game, but mysteriously came out the second half wearing his usual dark suit. The official line was that he 'spilled a Coke on it'. Right. I like to picture Mrs. Pitino on the cellie telling him to 'take that ridiculous thing off. You look like Boss Hogg's sleazy cousin from Jersey. Those laughs you hear? They are not laughing with you. Trust.'

There's not too many interesting games tonight, but Wednesday night will be huge, especially for the SEC West. My beloved Mississippi State Bulldogs will be on the road at the Devil's Playground, or Oxford, playing Ole Miss. Ole Miss has been struggling lately, but never count out a rivalry game. Ever. Just as importantly, LSU is at Arkansas, who is two games behind Miss. State in the standings. LSU has been surging lately after firing their coach, and the interim coach is a former Bulldog, Butch Pierre. How 'bout a little Bulldog love, my friend? An LSU win in Fayettenam would be a major boost for the Dawgs, as would another road win in Oxford.

I think I will hibernate one more night, then let the hoops begin!

Off His Rocker

So, the steroids investigation has come to this...John Rocker is complaining that he failed a drug test in 2000 and DIDN'T get in trouble. So, he's whining because Bud Selig didn't punish him? Daddy issues anyone?

Good Knight, Bob

If the winningest college basketball coach in history resigned and it wasn't even the top sports story of the day, did it even happen? And does anyone care? Ah, relevancy is a tenuous thing, my friends.

Can You Dig(ger) It?

Did you see Digger Phelps' getup on ESPN College Gameday today? Holy crap, who's his stylist? Michael Irvin? Figures the playmaker would find a way to stay relevant at the Worldwide Leader. I think Digger thinks he's way cooler than he really is since he starred in 'Love Letters' somewhere way Off Broadway. Like Queeens.

I Tawt I Taw...

Is it just me, or when you see John Clayton on the screen do you expect to see Sylvester lurking in the background?

Where's Spellcheck When You Need It?

I see the University of Tennessee hired an offensive coordinator named Clawson. Head Coach Phil Fulmer does realize it isn’t ‘Clausen’, doesn’t he? Someone might need to give him the 411.

Wherefore Art Thou, Tony Romo?

I have to chime in on this Tony Romo/Jessica Simpson thing. I’m not saying that Jessica Simpson is the cause of Tony Romo’s problems, but while Tony was enjoying Cabo with Jess, I keep picturing Eli getting shot down by Jersey girls in some mall in Paramus, then heading home to watch game film. Alone. I’m just saying. But, actually, I really don’t totally blame Jessica. I remember during the playoffs last year, the guy I was going out with was on business in Europe and asked me to email him with playoff updates. After the fumbled snap by Romo, I simply emailed, ‘I’m not sure a choke of this magnitude will translate’.

Anybody seen Jobu?

The Mitchell Report is due out today, and word on the street is that Roidger Clemens will be named in the report. The people that will be surprised at this 'revelation' are the same people that were shocked when Ellen DeGeneres came out. All I need to know about The Rocket is that I am 3 years younger, in arguably much better shape, and it takes me 10 minutes every morning to assess my aches and pains before I get out of bed. And this cat is still throwing 90 plus? Please. I think steroids and HGH are just the tip of the iceberg. That's getting into serious voodoo territory, my friend.

Was Dick Button Not Available?

As a huge Mississippi State fan (Go Dawgs!), I was interested to see who would be calling the Liberty Bowl game for ESPN. Turns out it is Terry Gannon and David Norrie. Terry Gannon has been known for his extensive work in figure skating and golf. I know it is a lower tier bowl, but come on. First Taylor Hicks for halftime entertainment and now this? At least I have the comfort of knowing that 30,000 plus drunk, booing, cowbell-wielding Bulldog fans will most likely drown out the halftime caterwauling. THAT will be my entertainment. Try singing over that din, Idol man.

On a more positive note, you Florida and Michigan fans who are jonesing for a Britney Spears update are in luck. Mike Patrick is on duty at the Capital One Bowl.