If At First You Don't Succeed, Tri, Tri Again

So far, so good with the repeat guy...I'll call him Tri Guy. He's training for a triathalon and, well, the rest is self-explanatory. Still cute and funny. I'm trying to discern whether he has all the intangibles, but I'm enjoying the emails so far. He even sent me one this morning to tell me to have a good day- love that! That's something I always did for my guys, so I think, for once, I'm going to sit back a little and enjoy being wooed. Long distance, of course, but what the hey. I still can't figure out what it is about me that attracts triathletes. I need to add that to the list of questions to ask my friends to figure out what is wrong with me since it never works out.

Now, there is the issue of a SMOKIN' hot, world champion, Italian kite-boarder living in Miami who has emailed me twice. Twice!!! Only problem is, without a subscription, I can't read what he said, or email him back. I'm thinking it might be worth the $15! Holy moly, he's hot.

And, of course, Bachelor #2. What would a good start to a romance be without him popping up? I'll start calling him The Counselor. Of course, I'll forgive him since he said Stephanie Seymour reminded him of me except I have a better ass. Damn right, and I also have the upper hand since I never slept with Axl Rose. Heh. The poor boy loves me and just won't admit it three years into this nonsense. Oh, well, c'est la vie! Onward and upward! I hope?

Ex Marks the Spot...and It Is Permanently Stained

Okay, now I've read everything. I just read an article on how divorced people found love through their exes in different ways. And, yes, a couple of these people were actually introduced their new loves by their exes. Wha??? After over 7 years of being divorced, I just want MY ex not to call at 7:30 a.m. on Saturday or Sunday morning when he KNOWS someone has slept over. This is courtesy of snooping by my wife-in-law (his wife) as she drives by my house on the way to play tennis. Geez. They get dates, I get cock-blocked. I'm not asking to be Bruce and Demi, Lord knows. I don't even like the guy, much less want to hang out with him. Even though I can definitely picture him being Bruce-like; not in a cool, 'Die Hard' way, but in a Seagrams Wine Cooler/bad blues singing kind of way. I just want him to get a hobby other than trying to make me miserable. Please.

Can You Say Shrinkage?

Okay, here's a perfect example of why I'm no good at online dating. The site I had the most luck with (and that is dubious at best) was a site that matched people interested in fitness. Mainly because the guys on the previous site I had tried didn't quite understand what an athletic body type is. That doesn NOT mean your dominant hand is all buff from all the channel surfing.

Anyhoo, when I did my quick look through a few days ago, I guess I showed up as active again and have been getting some emails, which I can't even read because I haven't subscribed. I can see the pictures, though, if they have one posted. Other than the one I mentioned that I am cautiously excited about (and who still has my personal email), the rest range in ridiculous to downright hilarious. Please...no more body building pictures! I swear I'm going to put that in my profile. I just got one from a guy whose username is HugeDavid. And, judging by his Hulk Hogan getup (now with more stupid skull caps to hide your baldness!), I'm guessing the 'roid use means not the good kind of huge, if you smell what I'm steppin' in. He looks straight-up WWE. I am howling...not to sound snotty, but what in the name of sweet, sweet Moses makes him think I would remotely be interested? I'm not interested in any pile driver from him, my friend.

What Goes Around Comes Around

I received an email from a guy I corresponded with a couple of years back yesterday. He used to be quite hot- tall, funny, athletic, successful...all the right things. He kind of disappeared, but saw my pic online and got back in touch. I haven't made my subscription active, but I guess sinced I logged on the other day it made me visible again. Who knows? He's had plenty of time to get unhot in the meantime, but at least it is something. We'll see- I'm pretty skeptical, but everything does happen for a reason, so I'll go with it for a while. I'm definitely taking the nothing ventured, nothing gained, nothing to lose route with this one. And praying he's still hot:) Yes, I'm somewhat superficial. Who isn't?

No More Yanky My Wanky...the Donger Need Food!

I feel like Long Duck Dong from 'Sixteen Candles', only with 100% less sex. I'm exhausted. One of my favorite cousins got married over the weekend, and the last week or so, most days have been spent celebrating or recovering in some fashion. So, she's married, it was a fantastic wedding and an even better party, and I need to take a break! While I appreciate all the compliments I've received on how young and hot I look, a few days of partying remind me I'm not so young anymore. I couldn't even make it through the hoops last night, I was out like a light.

News from the dating front...none still. But, I'm doing well in not contacting Bachelors #1-3 at all, and not responding to them. I'm feeling better about myself, so hopefully it will start spilling over. I took my 15 year old son as my date to the wedding party and had a great time, he was definitely the most handsome man there. And didn't have to worry about him calling back! And I'm still nixing the online thing as of right now. I think I need to just take my chances in the real world, I just need to get out of the LBC. I'll get back on the road for work next week and maybe something good will happen, no matter what it is.

The Real World

My current dating drought (almost 6 months, in case you missed my ALL-CAPS tirade a couple of posts ago) has made me consider trying online dating again. Or, as I have taken to calling it, long-line dating. As in there has been a long line of disappointments and a few broken hearts. But, in a quick perusal of the two sites I have used in the past, mainly I just see a long line of I Don't Think So. I think I'll take my chances in the real world instead of the virtual world. While the opportunities are fewer, at least I can get a real feel for the guy up front, rather than a virtual one. Because you know what? Online first impressions (and even second impressions) are virtually always wrong impressions.

Plus, I think right now it would be better for my psyche to be rejected for real issues than virtual ones. You know?

Six F'n Months

I was just reading the blog of one of my favorite radio personalities. She is currently casually dating one guy, and evidently still dating around. In today's installment, she is asking what the rule of thumb is when a guy asks you for your number. Does he call in 48 hours? 24? 72? HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW???? I HAVEN'T HAD A DATE, OR ANY INTEREST IN ME, IN 6 FREAKING MONTHS!!!!

I can't believe I just typed those words, but they are true. I'm sure part of it has been the hermit-like existence I've been living, but still. So, this week (actually starting last weekend), I'm trying to get back to the old me- just an improved version. I'm making sure to dress cute everyday, I'm going to start seeing movies again and, best of all, hitting Victoria's Secret this evening. New lingerie is bound to make me feel better. Feeling a little naughty is always a good catalyst. Hopefully putting something different out there will change my karma! Here's to hot shoes and hot lingerie, and hopefully a hot man:)